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I'm Not Yr Guy

from Nothing New in the West by J. Mamana

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lyrics

I slammed the door in your eyes.
How nice.
Dido, your friend,
had just died from a joke I read.

You all knew I was on strike from the word,
and luring me out with a light
like a moth I stirred.

In Carthage harbor,
where crown clerks, courtiers
talk like marchers
and drop like martyrs.
Well I’m their Arthur,
their colporteur, yeah,
but I’m not their guy—
Oh!

No sentiment for a month, just Donne.
Lying at length in a bath
with the clergyman.

Ressentiment for a world without
your testament.
What a joke.
What a cruel cry-out.

Our love had value—
still, St. Matthew walks the earth
but I’m without you.
I’m aphonic, anhedonic now
that I’m not your guy—
Oh!

I came home that night,
stormed back inside,
and fell inept apart.
Even failed that.
No luck,
no time,
no suffering signs—
I’ll just attempt to be
someone who can’t die.

credits

from Nothing New in the West, released January 4, 2019

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J. Mamana Providence, Rhode Island

carpenter gothic

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